The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize