You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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