for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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