He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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