well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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