I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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