Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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