All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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