If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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