lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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