So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
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Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
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Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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