i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I could make wine with my vomit
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
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I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
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Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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