I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize