I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize