did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize