actually, I'm a sock model
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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