i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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