How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize