She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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