This is not my ceiling
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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