In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
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Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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