I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize