Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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