Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
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"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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