dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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