One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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