And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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