Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
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We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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