Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
we're making bets on your personal life
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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