Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize