Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All I want is dick and wine.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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