i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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