Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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