the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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