he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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