my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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