I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize