apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
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that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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