i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize