I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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