I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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