dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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