He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize