Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
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Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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