so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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