Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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