4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
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