Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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