I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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