I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
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she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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